The world through rainbow-tinted glasses

Queer specs

Okay, I’ll admit it. I think everyone is gay. It’s this affliction I have- like that thing where people usually assume you’re straight, but the opposite. Literally. It’s not my gaydar that’s broken, it’s just that my straight one is missing.

This is actually quite annoying when it comes to finding potential lady dates- especially given the extra line blurring that hipster fashions, roller derby, and burlesque seem to have brought to the mix (queerifying straightness in a not-necessarily-gay way). In fact, it’s not so much that I think everyone is gay, but I tend to err on the side of everyone as potentially bi/pansexual.

Let me explain. 

I really respect that people have different sexual orientations that they identify with, I do. I just accidentally assume it’s a bit more fluid than that. This conversation I recently had with a friend (at Tilleys Devine Cafe) demonstrates my thought pattern:

Lady friend: So, what you’re saying is, you think everyone’s gay? Me: Basically. Lady Friend: What about me, do you think I’m gay? Me: Pretty much. Lady friend: But I have a boyfriend. Me: For now…

I am basically Friend Zone Fiona (if she were gay. Which she clearly is)

While I understand that this is probably really offensive to some, and just stems from my narcissistic and un-empathetic queer perspective, I also hope that some people find this refreshing. After all, why assume that everyone’s on the straight and narrow path (or the gay/lesbian yellow brick road and staying there) if you know that things are rarely that simple? Why assume that every happily married couple you meet also doesn’t have a boyfriend or girlfriend, or some other arrangement of a rainbow flavour? No reason (well, unless they explicitly tell you. Maybe).

So basically, if you’re straight, I’m afraid you’re going to have to come out of that gay glittering rainbow closet when you’re ready. That’s all.

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11 thoughts on “The world through rainbow-tinted glasses

  1. I’m not a fan of labels. I like what I like. And this post I like very much. Married to my high school sweetheart with a girlfriend in the mix, your blog speaks to me. Thank you for sharing.

  2. Pingback: Scourge of the Girl Crush: 7 Nearly-Gay Movies | BINARYTHIS

  3. Pingback: Loving the Straight Girl | BINARYTHIS

  4. Assuming everyone is bi/pan-sexual until they explicitly tell you they’re not seems best to me. After all, it can’t be offence to assume someone could be attracted to a certain person (or any and everyone), but assuming they can’t can be a bit annoying. But saying “you’re wrong about your sexuality” could also be a bit insulting. After all, the only person who gets to define your sexuality is you.

  5. When everyone is Gay, Gay becomes Straight. In the universe perceived through these particular glasses, Queer shall be a sign effectively under erasure. Queer Specs unqueer the way. A queering of a tree in this binarythis forest could require perhaps, in Ginsberg’s phrasing, a ‘Straight Heart’. Although, a path towards the radical disruption of enacted hegemonic identity formations, and rejection of the imposition of assumed identifier specificities, is clearly marked out within the intersticies of the brittle hegemonic structure of this way of seeing. Multiple and contingent fluid performances of polymorphous perversities are simultaneously erased and defined within the constraints of the imposition of an assumed erasure of heteronormative identificatory signifiers.

  6. Thanks to the Binarythis universal regard we are at last all liberated from the repressive shackles of all former ways of being regarded. And now we have it on the authority of no less than a guru that we are all Absolutely Queerly inter-relating. Freedom feels great.
    Thinking of sex symbols, as we all are, or rather symbolic sex, I favor = & + although it can be fun to play with > & >> brings out the : ) ; ) . ) in me. Bring on that pissing comp! I’m in!

  7. Dear Buffy. A motivational self-help guru once told me that you are the average of the five closest people to you. Sounds like your people are pretty SUPER GAY, so I’ve got good news- you meet the queer quota for today! Epic win!!!

  8. Dear Binarythis. I’m struggling with my queer identity. I lived with my dyke girlfriends, hung out with queers 24/7 and lived pansexually for over a decade. But now my (queer-femme-male) BF, and his (queer-femme-female) niece both excel in queer theory and claim the high stakes in queerness while only seeming to Do It with folks from the opposite gender. They’ve got the book miles while I’ve got the bed points! Surely its what you put in your mouth, not what comes out of it that matters. Please help!

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