I came across this great ad (that has gone viral) by Australian grassroots protest group GetUp! on the website Lesbian Dad. The ending is very moving, but bittersweet given the recent decision of the Australian Labor Party to allow a conscience vote on gay marriage, rather than incorporating a change of stance on the issue into the core party platform (this means that the bill to reform the Marriage Act is likely to get vetoed by the opposition when it comes to Parliament).

My response to this ad, and to the issue of gay marriage more generally is always one of support for reforms to the current law to remove any discrimination. I do however acknowledge the thoughts of those within GLBTQIQ circles that are vehemently against the concept of gay marriage. And this ad (after bringing tears to my eyes) got me thinking- just how can this issue be negotiated in a way that both removes discrimination based on sexual orientation, but that doesn’t detract from other political action around issues of sex, gender and sexuality. My biggest fear is that gay marriage may already be viewed as an “end of history” moment, where marriage is seen as the final marker of the equality battle. In fact, this article published in The Guardian today welcomes a “post-gay” future.

Damn straight

While many gay and lesbian people may rejoice in the possibility of marriage, many “non-heteronormative” others may find themselves left by the wayside when it comes to collective action (such as marriage within the polyamorous community- though they have noted that gay marriage would be a significant step toward possible poly marriage in the future). But the issue of “assimilation” runs deeper than the ability to win political gains- it’s a matter of the direction in which that change is won. A world in which a conservative ideology of marriage and “family values” is envisioned as the ideal end point for all relationships is concerning, because it overlooks and subsumes difference and different ways of “doing gay”. When Jane Lynch presented How I Met Your Mother star Neil Patrick Harris with the LA Gay and Lesbian Centre award earlier this year, she proclaimed that Harris and his partner had, “created the most stunning gay American family portrait“.

My hope is that with every “win” on the board we can stop and acknowledge the power of the political, and think about the way in which our new “norms” might affect those left behind.